英语小品剧本
篇一：英语小品剧本
英语话剧剧本Pygmalion
Pygmalion(ByGeorgeBernardShaw)ACTI
CoventGard(转载于:www.Zw2.cN 爱 作 文 网:英语小品剧本)enat11.15p.m.Torrentsofheavysummerrain.Cabwhistlelowingfranticallyinalldirectio.PedestriaruingforshelterintothemarketandundertheporticoofSt.Paul’sChurch,wheretherearealreadyseveralpeople,amongthemaladyandherdaughterineveningdre.Theyareallpeeringoutgloomilyattherain,exceptonemanwithhiackturnedtotherest,whoseemswhollypreoccupiedwithanotebookinwhichheiswritingbusily.Thechurchclockstrikesthefirstquarter.
THEDAUGHTER
[intheacebetweenthecentralpillars,closetotheoneonherleft]I’mgettingchilledtothebone.WhatcanFreddybedoingallthistime?Heeengonetwentyminutes.
THEMOTHER
[Onherdaughter’sright]Notsolong.Butheoughttohavegotusacaythis.
ABYSTANDER
[onthelady’sright]Hewontgetnocaotuntilhalf-pasteleven,mius,whentheycomebackafterdroingtheirtheatrefares.
THEMOTHER
Butwemusthaveacab.Wecantstandhereuntilhalf-pasteleven.It’stoobad.
THEBYSTANDER
Well,itaintmyfault,mius.
THEDAUGHTER
IfFreddyhadabitofgumption,hewouldhavegotoneatthetheatredoor.
THEMOTHER
Whatcouldhehavedone,poorboy?
THEDAUGHTER
Otherpeoplegotca.Whycouldnthe?
FreddyrushesinoutoftherainfromtheSouthamptotreetside,andcomeetweenthemclosingadriingumbrella.Heisayoungmanoftwenty,ineveningdre,verywetaroundtheankles.
THEDAUGHTER
Well,havntyougotacab?
FREDDY
Thereotonetobehadforloveormoney.
THEMOTHER
Oh,Freddy,theremustbeone.Youcanthavetried.
THEDAUGHTER
It’stootiresome.Doyouexpectustogoandgetoneourselves?
FREDDY
Itellyoutheyreallengaged.Therainwaosudden:nobodywarepared;andeverybodyhadtotakeacab.IvebeentoCharingCroonewayandnearlytoLudgateCircustheother;andtheywereallengaged.
THEMOTHER
DidyoutryTrafalgarSquare?
FREDDY
TherewatoneatTrafalgarSquare.
THEDAUGHTER
Didyoutry?
FREDDY
ItriedasfarasCharingCrotation.DidyouexpectmetowalktoHammersmith?
THEDAUGHTER
Youhavnttriedatall.
THEMOTHER
Youreallyareveryhelple,Freddy.Goagaianddontcomebackuntilyouhavefoundacab.
FREDDY
Ishallsimplygetsoakedfornothing.
THEDAUGHTER
Andwhataboutus?Arewetostayhereallnightinthisdraught,withnexttonothingon.Youselfishpig--
FREDDY
Oh,verywell:I’llgo,I’llgo.[HeopehisumbrellaanddashesoffStrandwards,butcomesintocollisionwithaflowergirl,whoishurryinginforshelter,knockingherbasketoutofherhands.Ablindingflashoflightning,followeditantlybyarattlingpealofthunder,orchestratestheincident].
THEFLOWERGIRL
Nahthen,Freddy:lookwh’y’gowin,deah.
FREDDY
Sorry[herushesoff].
THEFLOWERGIRL
[pickingupherscatteredflowersandreplacingtheminthebasket]Theresmeersf’yer!Te-oobanchesovoyletstrodintothemad.[Shesitsdownontheplinthofthecolumn,sortingherflowers,onthelady’sright.Sheiotatallanattractiveperson.Sheierhaeighteen,perhatwenty,hardlyolder.ShewearsalittlesailorhatofblackstrawthathaslongbeenexposedtothedustandsootofLondonandhaeldomifeverbeerushed.Herhairneedswashingratherbadly:itsmousycolorcanhardlybenatural.Shewearsashoddyblackcoatthatreacheearlytoherkneesandihapedtoherwaist.Shehasabrowkirtwithacoarseapron.Herbootsaremuchtheworseforwear.Sheiodoubtascleanahecanaffordtobeutcomparedtotheladieheisverydirty.Herfeaturesarenoworsethantheiruttheirconditionleaveomethingtobedesired;andsheneedstheservicesofadentist].
THEMOTHER
Howdoyouknowthatmyson’ameisFreddy,pray?
THEFLOWERGIRL
Ow,eezye-ooasan,ise?Wal,fewddany’de-ootybawmzamathershould,eednowbetterntoawlaporegel’sflahrznthanranawyathahtpyin.Willye-oopymef’them?[Here,withapologies,thisdeerateattempttorepresentherdialectwithoutaphoneticalphabetmustbeabandonedasunintelligibleoutsideLondon.]
THEDAUGHTER
Donothingofthesort,mother.Theidea!
THEMOTHER
Pleaseallowme,Clara.Haveyouanypeies?
THEDAUGHTER
No.I’venothingsmallerthaixpence.
THEFLOWERGIRL
[hopefully]Icangiveyouchangeforataer,kindlady.
THEMOTHER
[toClara]Giveittome.[Clarapartsreluctantly].Now[tothegirl]Thisisforyourflowers.
THEFLOWERGIRL
Thankyoukindly,lady.
THEDAUGHTER
Makehergiveyouthechange.Thesethingsareonlyapeyabunch.
THEMOTHER
Doholdyourtongue,Clara.[Tothegirl].Youcankeepthechange.
THEFLOWERGIRL
Oh,thankyou,lady.
THEMOTHER
Nowtellmehowyouknowthatyounggentleman’ame.
THEFLOWERGIRL
Ididnt.
THEMOTHER
Iheardyoucallhimbyit.Donttrytodeceiveme.
THEFLOWERGIRL
[protesting]Whostryingtodeceiveyou?IcalledhimFreddyorCharliesameasyoumightyourselfifyouwastalkingtoastrangerandwishedtobepleasant.[Shesitsdowesideherbasket].
THEDAUGHTER
Sixpencethrownaway!Really,mamma,youmighthavearedFreddythat.[Sheretreatsindisgustbehindthepillar].
Anelderlygentlemanoftheamiablemilitarytyperushesintoshelter,andclosesadriingumbrella.HeisinthesameplightasFreddy,verywetabouttheankles.Heisineveningdre,withalightovercoat.Hetakestheplaceleftvacantbythedaughter’sretirement.
THEGENTLEMAN
Phew!
THEMOTHER
[tothegentleman]Oh,sir,isthereanysignofittoing?
THEGENTLEMAN
I’mafraidnot.Itstartedworsethaneverabouttwominutesago.[Hegoestotheplinthbesidetheflowergirlutsuphisfootonit;andstoototurndownhistrouserends].
THEMOTHER
Oh,dear![Sheretireadlyandjoiherdaughter].
THEFLOWERGIRL
[takingadvantageofthemilitarygentleman’roximitytoestablishfriendlyrelatiowithhim].Ifit’sworseit’sasignit’earlyover.Socheerup,Captaiandbuyafloweroffapoorgirl.
THEGENTLEMAN
I’msorry,Ihavntanychange.
THEFLOWERGIRL
Icangiveyouchange,Captain.
THEGENTLEMEN
Forasovereign?Ivenothingle.
THEFLOWERGIRL
Garn!Ohdobuyafloweroffme,Captain.Icanchangehalf-a-crown.Takethisfortuence.
THEGENTLEMAN
Nowdontbetroublesome:theresagoodgirl.[Tryinghiockets]Ireallyhavntanychange--Stop:heresthreehapence,ifthatsanyusetoyou[heretreatstotheotherpillar].
THEFLOWERGIRL
[disaointed,butthinkingthreehalfpencebetterthaothing]Thankyou,sir.
THEBYSTANDER
[tothegirl]Youbecareful:givehimaflowerforit.Theresablokeherebehindtakingdowneverybleedwordyouresaying.[Allturntothemanwhoistakingnotes].
THEFLOWERGIRL
[ringingupterrified]Iaintdonenothingwrongbyeakingtothegentleman.IvearighttosellflowersifIkeepoffthekerb.[Hysterically]I’mareectablegirl:sohelpme,Ineveroketohimexcepttoaskhimtobuyafloweroffme.[Generalhuub,mostlysympathetictotheflowergirl,butdeprecatingherexceiveseibility.CriesofDontstarthollerin.Whoshurtingyou?Nobody’sgoingtotouchyou.Whatsthegoodoffuing?Steadyon.Easy,easy,etc.,comefromtheelderlystaidectators,whopathercomfortingly.Leatientoneidhershutherhead,oraskherroughlywhatiswrongwithher.Aremotergroup,notknowingwhatthematteris,crowdinandincreasethenoisewithquestionandawer:Whatstherow?Whatshedo?Whereishe?Atectakingherdown.What!him?Yes:himoverthere:Tookmoneyoffthegentleman,etc.Theflowergirl,distraughtandmoed,breaksthroughthemtothegentleman,cryingwildly]Oh,sir,dontlethimchargeme.Youduowhatitmeatome.Theylltakeawaymycharacteranddrivemeonthestreetsforeakingtogentlemen.They--
THENOTETAKER
[comingforwardonherright,therestcrowdingafterhim]There,there,there,there!whoshurtingyou,yousillygirl?Whatdoyoutakemefor?
THEBYSTANDER
It’sallright:hesagentleman:lookathioots.[Explainingtothenotetaker]Shethoughtyouwasacoer’ark,sir.
THENOTETAKER
[withquickinterest]Whatsacoer’ark?
THEBYSTANDER
[inaptatdefinition]It’sa--well,it’sacoer’ark,asyoumightsay.Whatelsewouldyoucallit?Asortofinformer.
THEFLOWERGIRL
[stillhysterical]ItakemyBibleoathIneversaidaword--
THENOTETAKER
[overbearingbutgood-humored]Oh,shutup,shutup.DoIlooklikeapoliceman?
THEFLOWERGIRL
[farfromreaured]Thenwhatdidyoutakedownmywordsfor?HowdoIknowwhetheryoutookmedownright?Youjustshewmewhatyouvewroteaboutme.[Thenotetakeropehiookandholdsitsteadilyunderhernose,thoughthepreureofthemobtryingtoreaditoverhihoulderswoulduetaweakerman].Whatsthat?Thataintproperwriting.Icantreadthat.
THENOTETAKER
Ican.[Reads,reproducingherpronunciationexactly]"Cheerap,Kepti’bawyaflahrorfaporegel."
THEFLOWERGIRL
[muchdistreed]It’ecauseIcalledhimCaptain.Imeantnoharm.[Tothegentleman]Oh,sir,dontlethimlayachargeagenmeforawordlikethat.You--
THEGENTLEMAN
Charge!Imakenocharge.[Tothenotetaker]Really,sir,ifyouareadetective,youneednotbegirotectingmeagaitmolestatioyyoungwomenuntilIaskyou.Anybodycouldseethatthegirlmeantnoharm.
THEBYSTANDERSGENERALLY
[demotratingagaitpoliceeionage]Coursetheycould.Whatbusineisitofyours?Youmindyourownaffairs.Hewantromotion,hedoes.Takingdoweople’swords!Girlneversaidawordtohim.Whatharmifshedid?Nicethingagirlcantshelterfromtherainwithoutbeingiulted,etc.,etc.,etc.[Sheisconductedbythemoresympatheticdemotratoracktoherplinth,wheresheresumesherseatandstruggleswithheremotion.]
THEBYSTANDER
Heaintatec.Hesabloomingbusybody:thatswhatheis.Itellyou,lookathioots.
THENOTETAKER
[turningonhimgenially]AndhowareallyourpeopledownatSelsey?
THEBYSTANDER
[suiciously]WhotoldyoumypeoplecomefromSelsey?
THENOTETAKER
Neveryoumind.Theydid.[Tothegirl]Howdoyoucometobeuofareast?YouwereborninLionGrove.
THEFLOWERGIRL
[aalled]Oh,whatharmisthereinmyleavingLionGrove?ItwatfitforapigtoliveiandIhadtopayfour-and-sixaweek.[Intears]Oh,boo--hoo--oo--
THENOTETAKER
Livewhereyoulikeutstopthatnoise.
THEGENTLEMAN
[tothegirl]Come,come!hecanttouchyou:youhavearighttolivewhereyouplease.
ASARCASTICBYSTANDER
[thrustinghimselfbetweenthenotetakerandthegentleman]ParkLane,foritance.IdliketogointotheHousingQuestionwithyou,Iwould.
THEFLOWERGIRL
[suidingintoabroodingmelancholyoverherbasket,andtalkingverylow-iritedlytoherself]I’magoodgirl,Iam.
THESARCASTICBYSTANDER
[notattendingtoher]DoyouknowwhereIcomefrom?
THENOTETAKER
[promptly]Hoxton.
Titterings.Popularinterestinthenotetaker’erformanceincreases.
THESARCASTICONE
[amazed]Well,whosaidIdidnt?Blyme!Youknoweverything,youdo.
THEFLOWERGIRL
[stillnursingherseeofinjury]Aintnocalltomeddlewithme,heaint.
THEBYSTANDER
[toher]Ofcourseheaint.Dontyoustanditfromhim.[Tothenotetaker]Seehere:whatcallhaveyoutoknowaboutpeoplewhatneverofferedtomeddlewithyou?Wheresyourwarrant?
SEVERALBYSTANDERS
[encouragedbythieemingpointoflaw]Yes:wheresyourwarrant?
THEFLOWERGIRL
Lethimsaywhathelikes.Idontwanttohavenotruckwithhim.
THEBYSTANDER
Youtakeusfordirtunderyourfeet,dontyou?Catchyoutakinglibertieswithagentleman!
THESARCASTICBYSTANDER
Yes:tellhimwherehecomefromifyouwanttogofortune-telling.
THENOTETAKER
Cheltenham,Harrow,Cambridge,andIndia.
THEGENTLEMAN
Quiteright.[Greatlaughter.Reactioninthenotetaker’sfavor.ExclamatioofHeknowsallaboutit.Toldhimproper.Hearhimtellthetoffwherehecomefrom?etc.].MayIask,sir,doyoudothisforyourlivingatamusichall?
THENOTETAKER
Ivethoughtofthat.PerhaIshallsomeday.
Therainhatoed;andthepersoontheoutsideofthecrowdbegintodropoff.
THEFLOWERGIRL
[resentingthereaction]Heogentleman,heaint,tointerferewithapoorgirl.
THEDAUGHTER
[outofpatience,pushingherwayrudelytothefrontanddilacingthegentleman,whopolitelyretirestotheothersideofthepillar]WhatonearthisFreddydoing?IshallgeteumoniaifIstayinthisdraughtanylonger.
THENOTETAKER
[tohimself,hastilymakinganoteofherpronunciationof"monia"]Earlscourt.
THEDAUGHTER
[violently]Willyoupleasekeepyourimpertinentremarkstoyourself?
THENOTETAKER
DidIsaythatoutloud?Ididntmeanto.Ibegyourpardon.Yourmother’sEom,unmistakeably.
THEMOTHER
[advancingbetweenherdaughterandthenotetaker]Howverycurious!IwaroughtupinLargeladyPark,nearEom.
THENOTETAKER
[uproariouslyamused]Ha!ha!Whatadevilofaname!Excuseme.[Tothedaughter]Youwantacab,doyou?
THEDAUGHTER
Dontdareeaktome.
THEMOTHER
Oh,please,pleaseClara.[Herdaughterrepudiatesherwithanangryshrugandretireshaughtily.]Weshouldbesogratefultoyou,sir,ifyoufoundusacab.[Thenotetakerproducesawhistle].Oh,thankyou.[Shejoiherdaughter].
Thenotetakerblowsapiercingblast.
THESARCASTICBYSTANDER
There!Iknowedhewasaplain-clothescoer.
THEBYSTANDER
Thataintapolicewhistle:thatsaortingwhistle.
THEFLOWERGIRL
[stillpreoccupiedwithherwoundedfeelings]Heorighttotakeawaymycharacter.Mycharacteristhesametomeasanylady’s.
THENOTETAKER
Idontknowwhetheryouvenoticedituttheraitoedabouttwominutesago.
THEBYSTANDER
Soithas.Whydidntyousaysobefore?anduslosingourtimelisteningtoyoursilline.[HewalksofftowardstheStrand].
THESARCASTICBYSTANDER
Icantellwhereyoucomefrom.YoucomefromAnwell.Gobackthere.
THENOTETAKER
[helpfully]Hanwell.
THESARCASTICBYSTANDER
[affectinggreatdistinctionofeech]Thenkyou,teacher.Hawhaw!Solong[hetoucheshishatwithmockreectandstrollsoff].
THEFLOWERGIRL
Frighteningpeoplelikethat!Howwouldhelikeithimself.
THEMOTHER
It’squitefinenow,http://fanwen.chazidian.com[ShegathersherskirtsaboveheranklesandhurriesofftowardstheStrand].
THEDAUGHTER
Butthecab--[hermotherisoutofhearing].Oh,howtiresome![Shefollowsangrily].
Alltheresthavegoneexceptthenotetaker,thegentleman,andtheflowergirl,whositsarrangingherbasket,andstillpityingherselfinmurmurs.
THEFLOWERGIRL
Poorgirl!Hardenoughforhertolivewithoutbeingworritedandchivied.
THEGENTLEMAN
[returningtohisformerplaceonthenotetaker’sleft]Howdoyoudoit,ifImayask?
THENOTETAKER
Simplyphonetics.Thescienceofeech.Thatsmyprofeion:alsomyhoy.Hayisthemanwhocanmakealivingbyhishoy!YoucaotanIrishmanoraYorkshiremayhirogue.Icalaceanymanwithiixmiles.IcalacehimwithintwomilesinLondon.Sometimeswithintwostreets.
THEFLOWERGIRL
Oughttobeashamedofhimself,unmanlycoward!
THEGENTLEMAN
Butistherealivinginthat?
THENOTETAKER
Ohyes.Quiteafatone.Thisisanageofutarts.MeegininKentishTownwith?0ayear,andendiarkLanewithahundredthousand.TheywanttodropKentishTowuttheygivethemselvesawayeverytimetheyopentheirmouths.NowIcanteachthem--
THEFLOWERGIRL
Lethimmindhisowusineandleaveapoorgirl--
THENOTETAKER
[explosively]Woman:ceasethisdetestableboohooingitantly;orelseseektheshelterofsomeotherplaceofworship.
THEFLOWERGIRL
[withfeebledefiance]IvearighttobehereifIlike,sameasyou.
THENOTETAKER
Awomanwhoutteruchdepreinganddisgustingsoundshaorighttobeanywhere--norighttolive.Rememberthatyouareahumaeingwithasoulandthedivinegiftofarticulateeech:thatyournativelanguageisthelanguageofShakeearandMiltonandTheBible;anddontsittherecrooninglikeabiliouigeon.
THEFLOWERGIRL
[quiteoverwhelmed,andlookingupathiminmingledwonderanddeprecationwithoutdaringtoraiseherhead]Ah-ah-ah-ow-ow-ow-oo!
THENOTETAKER
[whiingouthiook]Heave!whatasound![Hewritethenholdsoutthebookandreads,reproducinghervowelsexactly]Ah-ah-ah-ow-ow-ow-oo!
THEFLOWERGIRL
[tickledbytheperformance,andlaughingiiteofherself]Garn!
THENOTETAKER
YouseethiscreaturewithherkertoneEnglish:theEnglishthatwillkeepherintheguttertotheendofherdays.Well,sir,inthreemonthsIcouldpathatgirloffasaducheatanambaador’sgardearty.Icouldevengetheraplaceaslady’smaidorshopaistant,whichrequireetterEnglish.ThatsthesortofthingIdoforcommercialmillionaires.AndontheprofitsofitIdogenuinescientificworkihonetics,andalittleasapoetonMiltoniclines.
THEGENTLEMAN
IammyselfastudentofIndiandialectand--
THENOTETAKER
[eagerly]Areyou?DoyouknowColonelPickering,theauthorofokeacrit?
THEGENTLEMAN
IamColonelPickering.Whoareyou?
THENOTETAKER
HenryHiggi,authorofHiggi’sUniversalAlphabet.
PICKERING
[withenthusiasm]IcamefromIndiatomeetyou.
HIGGI
IwasgoingtoIndiatomeetyou.
PICKERING
Wheredoyoulive?
HIGGI
http://fanwen.chazidian.com /PICKERING
I’http://fanwen.chazidian.com /HIGGI
Rightyouare.
THEFLOWERGIRL
[toPickering,ashepaesher]Buyaflower,kindgentleman.I’mshortformylodging.
PICKERING
Ireallyhavntanychange.I’msorry[hegoesaway].
HIGGI
[shockedatgirl’smendacity]Liar.Yousaidyoucouldchangehalf-a-crown.
THEFLOWERGIRL
[risingindeeration]Yououghttobestuffedwithnails,youought.[Flingingthebasketathisfeet]Takethewholebloomingbasketforsixpence.
Thechurchclockstrikesthesecondquarter.
HIGGI
[hearinginitthevoiceofGod,rebukinghimforhiharisaicwantofcharitytothepoorgirl]Areminder.[Heraiseshishatsolemnly;thenthrowsahandfulofmoneyintothebasketandfollowickering].
THEFLOWERGIRL
[pickingupahalf-crown]Ah-ow-ooh![Pickingupacoupleofflori]Aaah-ow-ooh![Pickingueveralcoi]Aaaaaah-ow-ooh![Pickingupahalf-sovereign]Aaaaaaaaaaaah-ow-ooh!!!
FREDDY
[ringingoutofataxicab]Gotoneatlast.Hallo![Tothegirl]Wherearethetwoladiesthatwerehere?
THEFLOWERGIRL
Theywalkedtothebuswhentheraitoed.
FREDDY
Andleftmewithacabonmyhands.Damnation!
THEFLOWERGIRL
[withgrandeur]Neveryoumind,youngman.I’mgoinghomeinataxi.[Shesailsofftothecab.Thedriverputshishandbehindhimandholdsthedoorfirmlyshutagaither.Quiteunderstandinghismistrust,sheshewshimherhandfulofmoney.]Eightpenceaintnoobjecttome,Charlie.[Hegriandopethedoor].AngelCourt,DruryLane,roundthecornerofMicklejohn’soilshop.Leteehowfastyoucanmakeherhopit.[Shegetsinandpullsthedoortowithaslamasthetaxicatarts].
FREDDY
Well,I’mdashed!
篇二：英语小品剧本
英文小短剧
a(衣衫褴褛） b（衣着光鲜） c小花 d小草 e椅子 f新闻记者
b坐在e上吃东西，a一乞丐上前
a：先生，先生，请给我些面包，谢谢，我饿得不行了。
b：（厌恶）让开，让开。（然后便起身离开，这时他的钱包掉到e上头了）
a：先生，先生（a看见后，立即拾起，追上了走远的b）
b：让开，让开啊，我没吃的了，也没钱了（看也不看a，仍自顾自地走了）
c：他真愚蠢啊
d：是啊是啊（d点头附和）
a：可……先生……您听我说……（仍拉着b衣服的后摆）
b：挖，你这人怎么这么讨厌！（还是没有回头看a一眼）
c：椅子啊，你会不会觉得刚刚坐在你身上的人特愚蠢？
e：唉，人总是这么愚蠢啊~~~~
d：是啊是啊
与此同时a与b还在纠缠，这时e终于隐忍不住爆发了。
e：先生！你的钱包丢了！你怎么这么傻啊。
a与b同时回头，看见了那会说话的椅子e，吓昏过去了。这一幕恰巧被经过的f看见了。于是f就报道了这一事件。
f：大家好，我是新闻记者f，今天我看见了一个奇异的现象，一个椅子说话了，两个人被吓昏了，下面我将采访一下被吓昏的两个人。
b：哦，上帝，哦，妈妈。
f：这个人傻了，我们不鸟他了，下面我采访一下另一个人吧，请问你为什么不告诉他，他的钱包丢了？
a：对不起，我不知道“钱包”这个单词怎么讲……
f：通过这一事件，我们可以认识到，掌握一门外语的重要性，以及金钱给人类带来的影响。是吗，椅子？
e：是啊，是啊（e傻傻地拼命点头）
c：唉，人可真愚蠢，椅子也被他们弄傻了。
d：谁让这是一个童话呢……
为了配合马可的英文翻译，所以台词能简单就简单啦。下面是马可的英文翻译。
a:sir,sir,please give me a piece of bread.thank you,sir.i’m hungry to die.
b:get away,get away,dirty man.
a:sir,sir!!
b:run away,please run away.i have no food,and i don’t have money,either.
c:hey,xiao d,he is so foolish,isn’t he?
d:yes,yes.
a:but....sir....please listen to me.....
b:wa,why are you so disgusting!!
c:hey,chair,do you feel the man sat on you a moment ago is very stupid.
e:ai,pretty flower,do you know,men are always very silly.
d:yes,yes!!
e:sir!you lost your wallet!can’t you be more clever?
f:good morning,everybody.i’m a jonrnist f. today i saw a very weird thing--a chair open her mouth,and two men are frightened to faint.now,i will intenview the two nozzy man.
b:wo,my god,wo,my,mum.
f:i’m sorry to tell you this man has been mad.we needn’t take notice of him.let me interview the other man,hello,man,can you tell men why didn’t you tell him he lost his wallet?
a:i’m sorry,i don’t know how to speak "钱包" in english......
f:dear audience,through this thing we can learn that how improtant it is to mastery a foreign language,and how lagre the money affect us.is that all right,chair?
e:yes,yes.
c:ai,men is so silly.
d:don’t believe us,it is just a fairly tale.
刚刚小安告诉我“丢提瑞破特”原来是这样写的duty report……英语老师把班上69个人分成12组，一个组有5到6个人，每周大家坐一块讨论件事情，这周我们就打算做这个小话剧了，下次可能打算写个续集什么的。我就演那台词简单的小花，70604演台词最少的小草，马可可能演那个台词也很少但是却是真正意义上的主角的椅子，我们的续集的情节梗概都准备好了。准备写那个椅子被人们关注后所发生的一系列事情。哈，系列啊，够我们搞到那个英语老师下台了……
篇三：英语小品剧本
这个英语小品剧本是我们为了英语科技节上的节目，我们VICTOR小组一起编的，表演后感觉也很不错，这段时间大家都很辛苦，很团结，感谢大家的辛勤付出，相信这将是我们一段永远值得怀念的美好记忆。
第一幕（急诊室）
场景：医生看报纸，护士站立，家属甲乙推车，病人呻吟，旁白举牌过^^
家属甲：Anybody here? Help! Help!
护士过来，量血压
家属乙：Hurry up ! Hurry up! Do something ,please! Is he serious? 病人：oh don’t touch me, I would die！
护士： Be quiet ! Don’t move . Shut up !（量完血压）ok, I ‘ll call the doctor!
(走到医生面前)，doctor ,the patient is coming!
医生：（放下报纸，走过去，开始检查病人，病人叫）
家属乙：（焦急状）Is he serious?
医生： Be quiet ! Let me examine him! （检查完，回到桌子）you need to take some examinations.(开单)
家属甲：Can you give some medicine to him, but not to take this examination? 医生：of course not!
家属接单后做推车状，然后反身再做推车状，旁白举牌过，进入第二幕. 第二幕（检验室）
家属甲：Anybody here? We need examinations.
护士： what’s the matter? I see, pay for the check up first！ 家属甲，Can we take the examination first?
护士：No money no examination!
家属乙：（接过单子飞快跑下去，数秒后飞快跑回来，气喘嘘嘘状）Here you are! I have paid for it, please hurry up!
护士：（走向检验，给单）Doctor!
检验：（接单，拿好注射器，慢慢起身，慢慢走过去，举针做注射准备状）Don’t move!
病人：Oh my god ! It’s terrible ! You’ll kill me !
家属乙: (看着针头惊恐状)Are you sure you have to do this?
检验：of course!(手横握针筒，作猛扎状！)
病人惨叫????????
家属乙：How long can we get the result?
检验：(不耐烦状，回身摆手说)Go back to the emergence room and wait for the result.
家属气喘嘘嘘推车状，再反身推车，旁白举牌过，进入第三幕。
第三幕（影像室）
家属甲：Doctor! Doctor！Hurry up ! He feel pain a lot !(病人呻吟)
影像：（走过来，对病人说）Keep silent! Don’t move ！Otherwise I can’t finish it!(回桌子做操作状)
病人扭动，呻吟??
影像：（生气状，调高音调）I have told you that don’t move.(指着家属) You ,let him not move.
家属：（作诚惶诚恐状，不停点头，上前扶住）OK, OK!
家属乙：How long can we wait for the report?
影像：（作不耐烦状，摆手道）Go and wait in the emergence room！ 家属气喘嘘嘘推车状，再反身推车，旁白举牌过，进入第四幕。
第四幕（急诊室）
家属乙：Doctor! Doctor! We have done all the examinations now. Please do something release his pain. He is painful!
医生：（放下报纸，起身看下病人，回到桌子坐下，开单状）He needs more examinations.
家属甲：（冲上去拍桌子,大声怒斥）What are you doing? Are you a doctor? (手指病人)Look at him, he is painful!( 病人扭动，大声呻吟)Why don’t you care his suffering?
医生：(大声喊道)The examination is necessary .Take it or leave it! 家属甲: NO, we would not go to anywhere!
医生：You must do it !(把单子交给家属甲)
家属甲：（接过检查单，转身撕掉，掏出手机，喊道）Call everybody come to the hospital!
医生：（听到后做惊愕状，和护士对一眼，心领神会状，慌忙从桌下掏出头盔，一手慌张的戴头盔，一手掏出手机大声喊）SOS! SOS! NO . ONE ALERT! 后台其余医生事先戴好口罩，头盔戴歪点，一手扶头盔一手拿棍子做狼狈状跑上来，大喊：“where? Where?” 旁白提棍子冲上台，家属抄凳子，举起做火拼状，定格。
旁白：（走到前面）Why will it happen ? What do you think about this? I hope this scene will not happen forever! Thank you !
篇四：搞笑小学英语小品剧本
搞笑小学英语小品剧本《新守株待兔》
人物：农夫，兔子A，兔子B，大树。
农夫：I’m a farmer.（稍停顿）[走两步]A cool farmer.（掏出墨镜戴上）[冷酷地走两步，突然被绊了一跤，继续保持冷酷]Eh...When I was yong,I studied in Xu~~~~chuan Middle School.So, I’m rich now！[开始展示名牌，边说边掏]Look！This is my modern
mobile——Nokia WC 250！This is my watch!This is my MP3!These are my shoes——(夸张低沉地)ADIDAS!This is… [不经意地掏出一个苹果]Oh,sorry.[扔掉苹果]It’s this![从怀里掏出痒痒挠] Do you know what’s this？痒痒挠？No no no~~You are out!!It’s my modern——锄头~！！[看下表] It is time to do some farming！[开始弯下腰做出锄地的动作]
树：I’m a tree!I can do many things!I can sing![做出疯狂摇滚歌手的动作，哼哼哈西！！！]I can dance![跳四小天鹅] Oh?There comes a rabbit! [引导观众看兔子A)。树站回后台]
兔子A：OK,I’m a rabbit. Now I’m just walking around here.
[农夫继续锄地，边锄边上场，突然看见前面有个兔子]
农夫：（惊喜地）Lunch！[扔掉痒痒挠]I will catch it！ [偷偷摸摸地跟到兔子后面走]
[农夫跟在兔子后面。两个人走啊走。兔子突然回头。农夫假装看手表。两人继续走。兔子回头。农夫假装看天气。两人继续走。兔子回头。农夫假装打手机。两人继续走，兔子回头。这次农夫冷酷地把枪口对准了兔子。]
兔子A：Wahhhh~!（吓一跳）What do you want?
农夫：Huh…！I will kill U for lunch!
兔子A： Wah~~~~~~ [兔子跑，躲到树后面，农夫追到树前]
农夫：Where~ to go? Haha!
[农夫开了一枪“砰”(配音)。兔子在树后惊慌躲闪，没被打到。树做出受伤中弹状。 农夫又开枪，同上。 农夫开始加快频率，火力密集地开枪。兔子开始时惊慌躲闪，躲着躲着跳起舞来。树继续痛苦中弹状。]
兔子A[自我陶醉中，边跳舞边说]You can't hurt me! You can't hurt me！
树：[痛苦万分地]But…you…Hurt me….[痛苦地慢慢挪动到兔子背后]
[兔子继续兴奋地跳舞。农夫停止开枪，走到兔子面前，看着它。 兔子猛然抬头发现] 农夫：Ah ha~! Bye bye ! [举枪对准兔子，开枪，没声音，看看枪，示意没子弹了。兔子见状，非常兴奋地大笑起来]
兔子A：Ha ha ha ha! You can’t kill me now！ [兴奋大笑，笑到抽筋，笑到后仰。突然头撞倒了后面的树] Wa ！[倒地]
农夫：OH! [很兴奋地过去两个手指提起兔子]My lunch , I caught you !!! [把兔子绑到树上。打呵欠]tired! I’ll eat you after sleeping.[倒地睡觉]（打鼾的声音）
兔子A：[兔子很快醒了，看看四周，发现自己被绑了，很惊讶]Where am I? What happened?
树：[指着农夫]He has caught you and wants to eat you.
兔子A：What?! I must leave here! But how can I escape？[东张西望，看到农夫的手机]A mobile![解开绳子去看手机]It’s Nokia WC 250! Wow,how fashion![放回原处。又自觉地把自己绑在树上。 突然想起来]A mobile！Maybe I can call some one to help me！ [又不知不觉地把自己放出来，那起手机][做出打电话的样子] (配音：拨电话) Hello？
兔子B：Hello!It’s Jenny.
兔子A：Hey Jenny！
兔子B：Oh,hey Mary!
兔子A：How are you?
兔子B：Fine,thank you.And U?
兔子A：I’m fine too!How are your parents?
兔子B：They are fine,thank you.And U?
兔子A：They are fine,too!How is your uncle?
兔子B：He’s fine,thank you!And U?
兔子A：He’s fine , too! How…
兔子B：Eh..eh..eh~wait.But why do you call me? If you want borrow some money from me…NO WAY!!!
兔子A：No no no!I’m in danger now!Come and help me!!!
兔子B：But where are you?
兔子A：I’m under a tree!
兔子B：[边打电话边在附近走，经过兔子A面前，两个人还没发现]What can you see around you?
兔子A：I see a rabbit …that looks exactly like you!
兔子B：A rabbit…like me… OK!I’ll find you.Just a second!Wait for me! I will help you!
[匆匆离开]
[兔子A 打完电话，小心翼翼地把手机放回农夫处，然后又很自觉地要把自己绑回了树上]
兔子A：Haha!My friend will come and save me~!yeah! [兴奋过度，后仰，头又撞倒树上,倒地](虚弱地)Oh!Hurt! Call 110~Or 119?112?...Oh,forget it!I’m dying![作喉咙卡住声音，死去]
[兔子B上。]兔子B：I’m also a rabbit！I’m smart! I’m lovely! And I’m (作风情万
种)beautiful! （自我陶醉）[转头看自己右手边，却发现兔子A倒在地上]Oh,my!MaryI’m so sorry,Mary!I’m too late!5555555~~~~~~Mary![痛苦而夸张地转身敲打树]
树：Oh!Oh,don’t hit me.!Don’t hit me!I’m ~~brea~ken![朝地上倒，压倒兔子B]
兔子B：What?NO..NO!~~...I…can’t….breath……(作死了的声音)
[农夫一觉醒来。看见两只兔子] En..?Two rubbits! I rememer I have caught just one?!Oh,thanks god!How lucky I am![兴奋地一手提一只兔子，哼着小曲下场]